Hatachi no sensou ~ war of the twenties..

there will be times when you feel small,
when you hate the way you are,
when you feel useless,
when you feel insecure,
when you have regrets,
when you wish you have another fate, another path, another face, another selves,
when you're not satisfied of yourself,
when you don't know what to do yet everyone else seems to find their passions,
when everyone else is settled and you're not..

when you think you should give up searching, looking, and chasing..whatever you wish to find.

when as you grow older, you become even more clueless of what you want to be...

when you running out of time, and no one can save you but yourself..

when you can't feel emotions, and all you wish to have is to experience your younger days once again..

...

...

i still don't know how to finish this post.. yes, unlike my usual self, i don't have any comforting words even to assure myself.. right now.

well, there are times like this.. when you solely wish the Almighty, the Great God will be the one who save you and drag you out of this mess. one can only believe, and that believe is the only thing that i hold on to.. in time like this.

doubutsu-uranai..

Aruni Larasati
21/11/1988

You are Gold Fawn, whose character is gentle and calm.
You tend to talk slowly and there's something warm about your atmosphere.
Nevertheless, you have great fighting spirit within you, and you have great will power.
It's not too much to say that your will power is hidden under your intelligence and your personality.
Your movements are slow, and you also tend to be rather slow in putting things into action.
You also take other people's opinion too seriously, and are sensitive to rumors.
You try to avoid public criticism, by not using flashy expressions and fancy actions.
You try to stick to social status, and are pure and conservative sort of person.
You dislike new changes, and prefer to carry on steadily in a safe environment.
You think high of atmosphere than practicality.
If you make your decisions only on your preferences, people may think you as a moody person.
You are obsessed about cleanliness, and can be difficult, but you are really a kind person.
You have good fortune, and your personal interest may turn into your occupation, or get as busy as your regular business.
Therefore your interest develops into something that can be profitable.
Although you yourself are modest, people around you may get heated up, and make you a leader.
What you have done to others will be returned by double or more.
After getting married, you will have good fortune with children, and will be able to lead a steady old age.

waduh waduh, baru dapet nih yang "sedalem" ini.. sungguhan, kok bisa ya kaya ginian mirip banget *fingers crossed* ^.^!
saatnya mengevaluasi diri (lagi), soal masa depan, semoga beneran fortunate.. *big grin*

Faith.

fifth semester is coming (in like, tomorrow) and also the fasting month... hmm, I don't know if I'm ready for facing those days. next semester means I have to be BETTER, in every ways: the way I study, the way I handle things, the way I attend classes, the way I manage my life and things, every thing. I know it's not going to be easy, it will be some kind of challenge for me. to be a better self, yeah it suppose to be challenge for everyone. there are many things that I want to achieve, my dreams (see the "S" here, I have many "dream"). oh, and thinking about reaching it already make intimidated..

sorry if I sound rambling my words, but it's just one of my problem these days: I cant seem to use words properly in describing things (hhh, I miss the old me, in a good way though). I'm losing myself right now, stuck in the middle of life. my mind seems dull..
new semester's coming coincidently with the Ramadhan, and I'm sure (actually hoping) that there will be a lot of blessings for me, hehe X).

Maaf Lahir Batin guys.. have a blessed Ramadhan.